Friday, June 24, 2016

What is my dream?

I recently got back from a very refreshing trek in the Himalayas.

The trek more than lived upto its expectations. There was an abundance of breathtaking scenery at every turn and plenty of clean mountain air. Like any other Himalayan trek, it challenged everyone physically. And mentally.

The group I was trekking with had 2 children, one of them was an 11 year old girl who had come with her parents. It was her very first trek. She enjoyed the downhills and detested the uphills.

Somehow both of us ended up walking together. We talked quite a bit which was good as it helped both of us keep our mind off the effort. On one such day, she asked me a a question "What is your dream?". This simple straightforward question caught me off guard. I remember mumbling something very vague in answer since I really did not have one.

Dream. What IS my dream? Do I have one?

When we were kids, we were full of dreams. There were more dreams than we could ever accomplish. We knew that but it never deterred us. We still had our dreams and we boasted about them at every opportunity. We took pride in adding to the already long list of dreams.

Then we grew up. We started having ambitions. Ambitions translated into goals: mid term and annual goals. There are also the elusive 5 year and 10 year goals which we are expected to know before we go for any interview.

Where did our dreams vanish?

Are dreams the same as ambitions?

Do you know?

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Five and a half years ...

That's how long I have been away from blogging.....

Moved houses, cities & countries.

Travelled a lot more. Shared a lot less.

Made some new friends. Lost a dear one.

The bitter sweet journey of life continues......

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A visit to my roots..

Don't blame me for my aggression...its there in my blood :)

I can help it, a bit, maybe...but cannot do away with it completely.

Did I get you confused? Am sure you did :). Read on and you will understand why.

My next holiday, starting in the next 36 hours, is a very special and different one.

There are several reasons for the holiday being special. This holiday is with a group of close friends, who till some months back were actually strangers. Fate brought us together, we were lucky to be able to spend good amount of time with each other, at the end of which we developed some great (and hopefully, life long) bonds. When we started planning the holiday, we did not really expect it to materialize in the fashion it has. At the planning level, it is already a success, since we were able to plan much more than we expected. Though the holiday is yet to start, going by the history of the group (ie me and my friends), I can say without doubt that it will be a wildly successful one.

Anyway, back to the main topic of what makes this holiday special. This is going to be my first visit to my ancestral land, Chittorgarh, apart from my first ever visit to Rajasthan.

Having been settled in Bihar for generations together (not even sure how many generations), we are Biharis in every sense of the word. However, we are Rajputs too, and the origin of Rajputs historically has been from Rajasthan. The fact that we have descended from the clan of Amar Singh Rathore, and our roots are from Chittorgarh area, does not really match the facts from history, and that could be due to the earlier families migrating from one place to another over different generations. I tried to find out more info from the elders in the family but unfortunately they could not provide me with more than I already knew.

Am I excited? Yessss !!
Will I feel a connection to the place? Have to see...
Is this all true? Not sure.

Regardless of everything, there a certain romance associated with this whole story about my ancestral land, which I grew up with and which am not willing to give up now.

And last but not the least, next time someone calls me aggressive, I definitely have my lineage to blame :)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Turning to someone...

He felt lost.

He felt low.

He felt lonely.

He needed to turn to someone.

He turned to himself.

Does he realise the battle he just won?

Saturday, January 08, 2011

We are unique....

...not in happiness and suffering life throws at us, but in the ways we handle them...

Monday, January 03, 2011

Daybreak in Hampi

The alarm went off at 6 am. Even in my sleepy state, I managed to calculate that I had slept for only 4 and a half hours. I wanted to sleep some more, but then I remembered that I was in Hampi. I also realized with a touch of sadness that this was my last day in Hampi. Eager to make the most of my remaining time, I dragged myself out of my bed, put on a light jacket, floaters and grabbed the travel book I was reading, before closing the door softly behind me to avoid waking up my two friends with whom I was sharing a room.

I climbed the narrow iron steps to the terrace of the home stay we were staying in. I could see the main gopuram of Virupaksha temple in the soft light of dawn right it front of me. It was a beautiful sight, to say the least. I stood there for some time absorbing the sight of the temples and the rocks all around me. This was my 4th trip to Hampi, and I was still in awe of the place, like I had been when I had first set foot here in August, 2003. Each time I come back feeling the need revisit and explore more. And it never ends...

Keen to see more of Hampi at daybreak, I climbed down from the terrace and made my way to the main Bazaar, which was just a few steps away from my home stay. The shopkeepers were in the process of opening their shops, some were already in a state of readiness to serve the early morning customers. Being in the Bazaar opposite the temple meant that business always started early for them. Today was a little different though, it was 1st January, so they had an additional task. Each of them were busy making Rangolis in front of their shops, wishing everyone Happy New Year. What a pleasant way to greet the new year !!! These Rangolis were big ones covering the entire breadth of their shop entrance and would have taken them considerable amount of time to make these, even with the entire family working as a team. The Rangolis were filled with bright colors and made a beautiful sight. I had never seen so many big Rangolis, one after the other, and as I walked past them, each of them seemed to be better than the earlier one I saw. I was specially struck by this unique fusion of Eastern and Western cultures. People in Hampi, in a Bazaar opposite Virupaksha temple, welcoming the Christian calendar New Year, by drawing strange and how nice. I cannot really describe the feeling.

I needed to buy some water. Gingerly avoiding stamping on the Rangolis, I walked into one of the shops. The shopkeeper beamed at me and wished me new year before handing me the bottle. When I paid him, he smiled even more and said I was his first customer in the new year and that he was sure the year will be lucky for his shop. I smiled back and echoed his wishes.

The Bazaar had a lot more people now, a few headed towards the temple and some walking towards the river. I skirted the temple and walked towards the river, following a group of Sabarimala devotees, who I assumed were headed for a bath in the river before going to the Murugan temple near the river. There were a few tea stalls near the temple. The owners called out to me asking me if I wanted tea or coffee (I am sure I made a very sleepy sight with loose cotton bottoms and my tousled hair). I simply smiled back at them and made my way to the river, finding a nice spot under a tree on one of the steps which led down to the banks.

There was quite a varied crowd gathered there and it was quite interesting to watch their activites. First, there was a group of young boys, maybe 10-11 year old, in their briefs, circling a Nandi statue on a high rock in the middle of the river. I do not know if they did this as some ritual or simply for fun. After a few rounds, they all sat down near the edge of the rock with their legs dangling down. I half expected them to jump together in the water, though I knew the water is not so deep and the river bed rocky. After some time, one by one they stepped down from the rock (I realized then that there was a rocky pavilion on the other side of this rock, which was how they had managed to climb onto the rock). Once they had descended, they started swimming and splashing around the water in the usual boisterous manner, so typical of a group of boys. There was also a group of young girls fully taking a bath. It was the difference in their demeanour compared to the boys which was very striking. The girls were almost the same age as the boys, but fully dressed, even though they were in the river for a bath. They were standing huddled close to each other, laughing and joking with each other. Most of them had long hair and were washing their hair and obviously enjoying it. Even in their restricted movements, there was fun and warmth in the group. I looked at them and thought of the lives they would lead when they grow up. There would be marriage, husband, in-laws, children, and hopefully some education in between for them. I also wondered why I only thought of the hardhips the girls would have to face. The boys I saw circling the Nandi would face hardships too. Is there a hidden feminist in me, who I need to acknowledge? for thought for me.

There was increasing activity on the other side of the river. The first boat was beginning to fill up, there was a guy astride the motorcycle on the boat as well. Another group was beginning to form at this end of the river waiting for the boat to arrive.

A huge family arrived next to me. From their exclamations, it was obviously their first day in Hampi and their first sight of the river. There were excited discussions on what to visit and how, where to stay, what to eat etc. The younger kids smiled at me, the older ones looked at me suspiciously, thinking why someone should be sitting near the river clutching a bottle of water and book in hand.

I looked at my watch and realized it was time for me to go back to my room. Today was the last day in Hampi and a lot needed to be done. Though I had not seen anything "new" or "exciting" in the last one hour, I had seen the "living" Hampi, something which connected me even more to the place.

I walked back to my room thinking I could not have wished a better place or hour to start my new year with.

Happy New Year everyone :)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Prepared for the unplanned?

In today's world, with time being a premium, we spend so much time on planning our lives so that we get more from each day, each hour, each minute.

Time management is one of the most sought after skills, and I doubt if anyone is ever really happy with their time management skills. There is always more to be done than you can plan for.

In all this mad rush to do more and be on top of everything else, life has its ways to remind you that there are things beyond our control and planning, and it often comes as an eye opener.

So just like that....out of nowhere...and for no rhyme or reason...I met with an accident.

Yesterday, on the way back from badminton, I hit a road divider. There is no explanation for why and how. The divider was a prominent one and not easy to miss in any way. It was a combination of me forgetting to turn on the headlights, bad lighting in that area and last but not the least, my carelessness. I sure was in some deep thought when this happened.

And the damages? My car needed to be towed away to the service centre and I ended up with a muscle sprain on my left rib cage and quite a few bruises on my body. I am yet to know how much I need to shell out for the car repair (thankfully its insured) but not having a car for a few days will definitely cause a lot of inconvenience. Added to it is the physical discomfort of wearing a adhesive bandage for the next two weeks to enable the torn muscle to heal.

And all this when I really need to be up and about...and very much mobile, with several last minute things pending before I can shift into my new house this weekend.

So much for planning your life :)

I got quite a bit of interesting advices from my friends and well wishers...right from keeping a driver to donating my car (on account of the accident frequency off late) to not thinking when I drive. As expected, quite a few of my male friends were more bothered about the state of my car than me !! :)

Anyway, they say every cloud has a silver lining....the silver lining here is some time off from work...though I wish the time off was under better circumstances.

At this point, am not really sure when I will get behind the wheel again, but when I do, I hope I am a better driver.

And as for managing my life better, should be more prepared for the unplanned :)

Amen !!

Out of touch?

Two possible reasons why people do not keep in touch.....either they don't care....or they care too much...

So look beyond the obvious...